How to Handle a Teenager Who Doesn't Want to Be With Family?

 

Is your child, who once shared all with you, turning to an individual making his own decisions and paths? With the increased urge for independence, the teenagers seem to withdraw from their family. They don't take part in family matters and are more involved with their friends. This natural phase of transition leads them to become an independent individual to handle all the situations on their own. As a result, they explore more things withdraw from the family, and challenge the rules and boundaries set by the family. This article explores the common causes and signs of this behavior and the strategies for parents to get their teenagers closer to them. 

What Are The Reasons Behind A Teenager's Behavior?

Independence

As children enter their teenage years, they often try to become self-independent. And they try to separate themselves from the rest of the family. They try to handle their problems and situations by themselves and make their own decisions. They don't accept suggestions from the family and try to get out of their influence. It helps them to become independent in their future life. Through this, they learn to become responsible and deal with their matters by themselves.

Identity Formation

They are also dealing with self-identity. During this journey, they may develop perspectives different from the family and are driven away from the family and more lean toward their friends

As they are struggling to find their place in society and what role will they play in their future life, it leads them to spend less time with their family. It seems like they don't give time to the family and are not interested in their family.

Emotional Development

Teenagers are not mature enough emotionally to hold a balance between their increasing urge for independence and their families. They are not mature enough to balance their life and keep everything in its right place. So, to deal with their academic struggle, emotional changes, and challenges of this age, they separate from their family and don't give the family the time needed to give.

They apply their critical thinking to their parents and teachers. And they question them for their decisions and suggestions. The parents may find this odd, for their child whom they raised up, questioning them and arguing with them.

Peer Influence

At this age, teenagers also give very much importance to their social life. Their friends validate and support each other in dealing with the problems of this age. They need to have good social behavior and fit into society. So, they spend less time with family and more outside. 

Exploration

They desire new experiences and explanations. In their journey from childhood to adulthood, they need a lot of experience and exploration. They try different ideas, activities, and things. They are interested in the exploration of new things and new ideas.

What Are The Signs That Teenagers Don't Want To Be With Their Family?

Behavioral

• The teenagers may be unhappy or disinterested in family activities and family decisions.
• They spend a lot of time alone to discover their identity, feelings, and interests.

Emotional

• They may feel misunderstood by their family and they have no interest or any positive feelings towards their family.
• It may be due to the emotional distance from the family or an unsupportive behavior that may lead them to be disheartened and distant from family matters.
• They may think that their parents or family don't understand their point of view and don't help them out in dealing with their problems.

Academic And Social

• They may be struggling academically or socially and it may result in a loss of interest in the family activities. They may be disheartened or depressed.
• They are avoiding family gatherings and activities and not taking part as they used to in their childhood.

Communication

During their teenage years, there is an increased need for privacy among teenagers and they practice some privacy and secrecy and don't share all the things with others. They answer the parents' questions in yes and no and don't take any interest in their families' queries and conversations with them.

They may compromise over the family relationships because they know that their family will stay connected with them in every case. But if they do such things outside the home with their friends or fellows, they may be left out. 

How Can Parents Connect with Their Teenagers?

Find out why they are getting away from the family. Addressing the root causes will help your relationships become improved with your teenagers.

Building Trust And Respect

Involving them in decision-making and asking their opinions on various things makes them realize that they are being valued and heard. It lets them know that you're sincere about them in knowing about their opinions, feelings, and decisions. Respect their decisions and feelings, they will definitely open up to you, share everything, and spend more time with you. It builds their trust in you and gets you closer to your teenagers.

Open Communication

Spend quality time with them and discuss what is happening in their lives. You can ask them about their academic or social life, what are the problems they are facing. Ultimately, they will lean towards you.

You should tell them the importance of family life and how it helps in the emotional and physical development of one's life. Tell them that they need to spend time with the family as they are involved in other things. Knowing the importance of family relations, they will not ignore it.

Be Supportive

Give them support where they need and don't criticize them. Respect their boundaries and privacy. So they will find you supportive and helper in every situation. It will strengthen your relationship. Just listen to what they say and let them realize that you are actually interested in their life. 

Focus on their interests and passions and don't impose anything on them. Find out their hobbies and interests and talk to them about these interests and the things they enjoy. It builds their interest in the family. They will be encouraged to spend time with you.

The Last Say (Conclusion)

In conclusion, the teenage years can be challenging for both the teens and the parents. Teens desire independence and go through self-exploration, so they are naturally pulled away from their families. By understanding the root causes and dealing with them with affection and support, you can make teens take an interest in the family.