Raising a teenager poses many hurdles as he or she develops emotionally and physically. In the teens, many problems, fluctuations, mood swings, and mental health issues are faced by teenagers. Being their caretakers, their parents also have to pay the cost as they deal with such an intensely changing child. The boy or girl who was once fully attached to them has now started to challenge their parents, make his own decisions, and want independence even from their family. This is a situation critical not only for teens but also for their parents who are directly affected.
It's not just with you rather all the parents and teens go through this period in life. Through this article, I'll tell you the reasons why you say "My teenager is making me depressed", its causes, and some effective solutions.
Understanding the Issue
Why do teens show such rough behavior? Let's discuss it.
- Teens are going through emotional and hormonal changes. It makes their behavior hard and fast. They have great emotional fluctuations and are learning to get it under their own control.
- They are in a phase called self-identity or self-discovery. They find themselves and what role they have to play in society. For instance, they are probing about professions and passions.
- As they pass from teen years to adulthood, they change from dependency on their parents to independence. That's why they don't follow the rules and guidance of their parents. It is actually positive for them to have autonomy and responsibility for their lives.
- They also face problems like academic pressure, lack of social skills, and working extra hard to fulfill the expectations of parents and society.
- There may also be some parenting issues for instance the parents compare them with others, don't give them due independence, don't value them in making decisions, don't believe in them, etc.
All these factors can result in the awkward behavior of a teenager. You should understand your teens and find and solve their problems. It can lead to better parent-teen relationships.
Emotional Impact on Parents
When a teen shows a rude or rebellious attitude, it hits straight to his or her parents. It can affect the parents emotionally and mentally leading them to depression. It is found that maternal depression is most common as mothers are emotionally not as strong as fathers. And also the parents with a previous history of depression or other mental issues are much influenced by such acts of the teens. Parents often compare their children with others and see that their children are performing well and are not chasing the milestones as the children of others are doing so. Then to improve their child's performance, they may punish them, taunt them, and tell them to be like other children. But through this, the situation gets even worse. And it leads the parents to a state of depression.
Further, getting involved in substance abuse to get relief from depression and sadness is totally an unreasonable act for both the parents and the children. By adopting it, you will be stuck in this and there will be no way out. And keep in mind that, such things are not a permanent and effective solution.
Some Useful Tips
You should not take your teen's behavior so seriously and don't try to make him or her perfect. It's a learning and development phase of a child and it will not last all long. Furthermore, it's not only you and your teenager passing through this challenge rather mostly teens go through it. It's just normal as explained in the above section.
Do involve yourself in other activities, hobbies, and exercises, take care of your own health, and get proper sleep and food. By considering the problem more nervously, we cannot end it. But it may lead to depression and mental health problems.
What you and your teen can do is build stronger communication, understand each other's perspectives, realize that none of you is perfect, and consider the instance of this period of age. Respect each other and don't be so strict in your opinions. Especially teenagers and some parents also think in black and white. It will never let your relationship grow healthier.
Because of social media, we want to make our lives perfect and smooth as depicted on different social media platforms. This ideal case is not possible in this real world which has many ups and downs, success and failure, and a bundle of problems.
Don't compare your child with others and don't implement your decisions on him but you should consider his or her choices and taste in making decisions. For example, some parents wish their child to be a doctor or something else for which he doesn't have any interest. They force him or her to opt for it. It can make the child depressed and he can't do well in any field of life.
The Last Say
In conclusion, by understanding that it's not an uncommon thing for teens and their parents, you can learn how to deal with it. Don't make it a headache and don't take it so seriously that your own mental health goes to risk and you go to depression. It's normal and you can deal with it with the help of given tips.
If the condition is extreme, you can also seek external help or consult a professional to help you to make the condition better.
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