Are you puzzled about your teenage son's laziness and unmotivation? It's not you alone who's facing this. Raising a teenage son is often challenging or frustrating when there is no improvement after all your efforts. Many parents find themselves in trouble because their once active child is now getting bad grades in school, not taking any interest in other activities, and staying sad and depressed all the time. In this article, I'll share my experience with most of the possible causes and suitable fixes that you can apply. It will help you understand the root causes of why your teenage son seems lazy and unmotivated and effective solutions for it.
Boys' Mindset
First of all, we will discuss the mindset of boys. Boys do what they think is beneficial and useful. For example, they often question the benefits of studying English and mathematics in real life. They find interest in what they find valuable.
They don't do something under pressure. They like to do for which they have an interest. They will show lazy or unmotivated behavior if they are forced to do something. They are motivated to do what they like not what you like them to do.
Is He Really Unmotivated?
It's important to probe that is he actually careless or dealing with any other issues like lack of interest, depression, etc. They may be naturally not as active as you want to see them. Doesn't your son perform actively like others? He may be naturally not so much active. For example, in school, if he is not good at getting grades he may not be lazy but has slow learning ability. He may be facing problems with learning and in his studies not unmotivated.
He may lack interest in something and don't do it keenly. Is he unmotivated in all the activities? If he is interested in some activities and not in others like his studies. Then it's not laziness or unmotivation. Rather it's a lack of interest in those activities in which he is weak.
Depression
Another cause of such sort of attitude maybe he is struggling with depression. You can identify whether is he depressed or not. Here are some symptoms of depression in teenagers: persistent sadness, disturbed sleep patterns, feeling guilty, no social life, hopelessness, and decline in academic performance.
Trying to Be Perfect
Setting high expectations for your son offers him a challenge. He struggles to come up with your (big) dreams. If such expectations are much higher. It can make them unmotivated when they think that they can't do it.
Don't expect your son to be perfect and always get top positions in school. Trying to do everything perfectly and become a good one can be demotivating when not achieved. You should not force your child to do alright.
Not All Have the Same Capability
Another thing that needs to be understood is that all children don't have the same abilities in all areas of life. Some have sharper brains than others. Some may be physically stronger. Some may be more able in studies and some in other activities.
Giving Up Too Early
When the teenager is misunderstood and is labeled incapable, incompetent, or lazy it can kill his confidence and self-esteem. This decreased self-esteem and self-assurance can result in early giving up. They lose their courage to achieve big things. When they don't believe in themselves they cannot even perform what they are capable of.
School Tasks in Bulk
Bad performance in school grades can be a result of a large amount of school tasks in two scenarios. One is the schoolwork is too difficult for them to do it effectively. Or the work is easy but so much lengthy or time-consuming that they get bored doing it.
Mostly schooling starts from a young age and continues for a longer period. Having focused only on studies and not learning and getting exposed to other things in the real world can also make boys in their late teens feel hopeless and useless.
Lack of Extra Activities
Involvement in extracurricular activities is also important for the boys to learn many lessons useful for practical life. The boys who take part in other activities than school have more learning and can do well in studies also. They have more energy and motivation for work. Pursuing interests and hobbies gives happiness and a sense of achievement and self-approval that is essential to achieve good in life.
Desire for Independence and Control
During teenage years, a boy (or girl) is passing through many developmental changes. They want independence and control in their matters. It's vital for their preparation for adulthood. It will make them responsible. But the parents are trying to drive the teens according to their own decisions. It makes the teens disappointed and you may find them lazy and unmotivated. When they feel that they are not believed in or not valued, their performance and confidence will clash.
Need Support and Validation
Support and validation are very critical in this age. Teens need love, support, and acceptance from their parents. It can give them motivation and energy to do well in their teens and in life.
You should ho discourage them by comparing them with other boys of their age and their fellows. It can turn them sad and disheartened and badly affect their overall performance.
Criticizing Them
Some parents may criticize their sons for not getting good grades at school and not coming up to their expectations. Doing this cannot bring any positive results. But the negative one is sure. It can increase the gap between you and your child. Deprived of the motivation and support he needs from you can decrease his performance.
The Last Say (Conclusion)
In conclusion, dealing with a lazy teenage son is often awkward and frustrating. But diving into the psychology of this phase of life and finding what's wrong with your child can result in such behavior. I have discussed almost 10+ aspects. You can better diagnose what is the case with your child and work on that particular one to improve the situation and let him succeed in his life. Believe in your child, support him, and value his decisions, opinions, and choices and he will surely succeed.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I motivate my teenage son?
You can motivate your teenage son by giving him love, guidance and support, and getting him involved in activities that interest him. Don't criticize him. Appreciate him for his small achievements.
How can I help him develop better habits?
You can guide him to do the good thing, build a nice routine, and make yourself a role model by developing these habits in your personality. When he sees you doing something good, there are high chances of him adopting it.
When should I seek professional help?
When you feel that your child's situation is critical as he/she is dealing with severe depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, you can consult a professional to help you make your child better.
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